Over the past 20 years of building my career, I have spent ENDLESS hours building a skill set I thought I needed to increase my confidence within my career and personal life.
To take on a new project, earn more money, be respected by my peers, and be healthier, there has always been a new skill to learn. It’s been another way of adding more ‘things’ into my life to prove my worthiness.
What I’ve taken away from this is that often, especially when it comes to women (myself included), we need to prove ourselves or be fully prepared before taking things on. But often, when it comes to building new skills like this, the boost in confidence can be short-lived. There is always something new to learn, to do, and be better at doing.
The life skills listed below are different types of skill sets. These are the skills that will change you at a psychological level when practiced time and time again. A shift will happen as you dedicate more time to upskilling in these areas in ways you’ve not seen before.
By redirecting your skillset inwards, you’ll become more confident in every aspect of your life.
What comes easily to you? Confident women spend more time on what they’re already great at doing and some of the time improving in areas of weakness.
You might feel the need to be good at everything, but ultimately you’re going to spread yourself too thin and end up not being very good at anything. On the other hand, when you’re living out your strengths, the sky’s the limit! So at work, do more projects that highlight what you’re good at doing. At home, do more of the things that bring out your creative, fun side, baking a cake or being in charge of the financial spreadsheets; it doesn’t matter what it is; it’s about using your innate strengths more often than trying to improve weaknesses or learning something new.
Confident women are open to what is possible rather than what is not and do not let past beliefs or assumptions hold them back. To practice curiosity, you need to learn to let go of what you know and be open to what you don’t. First, ask yourself what your fixed reality is. It can take the form of feeling stuck, knowing something needs to change but don’t know how to approach it or have approached it in the past and haven’t experienced change, and negative beliefs limiting your future.
Examples that might help you;
I assume there is no scope for change in my current role
I assume there are no jobs out there at the moment
I assume I need to retrain to be able to do anything different
I assume I can’t manage with a pay cut
I assume I can’t move to a new city
The next step is to flip the assumption, for example:
There is scope for change in my role to do more of what I love
There are jobs out there at the moment
I don’t need to retrain to do more of what I love
I can manage with a pay cut
I can move to a new city
This simple exercise helps you see from a new perspective and sparks curiosity to discover what’s possible.
Confident women are clear on what they stand for and what they will not stand for. They are clear on their values and live by them with integrity by aligning their thoughts, words, and actions in each moment and are consistent with their word.
Start by listing your life values, what matters to you most and what are the things you stand for. Then look at ways you can start living more aligned with these values in your day-to-day life.
Stand for a sustainable planet; start by creating a more eco-friendly home.
Confident women are leaders of their own life. Taking personal responsibility to lead the way in our own life means you have the power to make a choice at every moment and be accountable for the results (intended or unintended). Are you waiting to be told what to do? Are you scared of taking a risk because of the unknown outcome? Learning to be accountable for your actions will enable more confident steps in your personal and professional life.
Your vision articulates your greatest ambition and supports you right now in making choices that lead you in the direction you want for your life. It’s about what you want, not what other people want for you. Confident women have clarity on their wants and needs for the areas of their life and focus on taking steps that turn their vision into their reality.
Having clear boundaries in your life is empowering and demonstrates confidence. Accepting the need to set and enforce boundaries within your life protects your self-esteem, maintains your self-respect, and helps you enjoy healthier relationships – personally and professionally.
A massive block for personal growth is not adopting patience. Like everything you learn, it takes time. Building confidence from within may not give you instant gratification, but you will experience the benefits over time and when you need it most with patience. It does take time to build up new skills, habits, and routines, and as is life, nothing will ever run as smoothly as we would like it to be. Be prepared to make mistakes, you’re human, and every confident woman makes them, learns from them, and keeps going.
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