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Do you ever find yourself in a situation that provokes you to behave differently? No matter how confident you were feeling that day, certain situations provoke you too; doubt your abilities? question your why? Make you feel out of control? All which lead you right back to the bad habits you have been working so hard on stopping.
Many of us get let our triggers lead us into a spiral of bad choices that can take over our day…week…month and even year. Take back control and put this 4 step plan into action next time something provokes you to revert back to bad habits:
Step 1: Learn to identify your triggers
It’s really important to learn what provokes you to feel and behave differently (or in way you don’t want to) – some triggers are going to be obvious however there are plenty that will not be!
Next time you are provoked use this as an opportunity to pause and reflect, allow the emotion to pass and take a mental note on what happened by considering the following questions:
What was the situation?
Who was there?
What was said?
How did it make you feel?
What was your immediate response?
What did you want to do? Or what did you do?
How would (or did) this action help you?
Step 2: Dig a little deeper
Often we emotionally respond to situations because something or someone has gone against one of our core values or something that is important to us.
For example; your boss makes you stay late at work to finish a project, this request can trigger a negative response if one of your core values is to spend time with your family, as the situation means you end up spending more time at work than at home with your family. This understanding can help you get perspective and help you keep control.
Step 3: Own your emotions
Allow yourself to feel the emotional response from your trigger and learn from it. When you allow yourself to feel, you are making a conscious choice to listen to what’s going on within. Often we ignore or don’t want to get emotional and use bad habits as a distraction. By owning your emotions you will have more control on what you do next.
Step 4: Follow with a planned positive action.
Prepare in advance what you can do when you are provoked to behave differently. Once you start to learn more about your triggers – when, how and where they happen, you can prepare in advance what you will do if you are provoked.
Some ideas that will help you break a negative spiral and lead to a positive action:
Have a friend on speed dial who is happy to let you vent.
Keep your fitness clothes in the boot of your car so you can go to the gym or for a run after work.
Have a supply of healthy raw chocolate in your bag.
Download a meditation app on your phone to help you re-ground.
If you feel you are constantly losing control and having to break away from a negative spiral, perhaps its time to look at the big picture and seek support and guidance from a professional who will be able to help you make the changes needed to create a healthier balance.
If you feel constantly stuck in this pattern of self-sabotage please reach out to Heidi, it’s her job to help you overcome what’s holding you back from living the life you deserve. Get in touch via Instagram @heidi_jones_coaching or visit her website and download her free guide on how to not let your perfectionism hold you back heidijonescoaching.com
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