Setting goals and creating plans are essential and fun steps to creating the lifestyle you want. At the beginning we all feel excited, motivated and committed to the goal – this time it will be different and nothing will get in our way!
However, for some reason on our journey to being the best version of ourselves, we’ve become stuck. Stuck in the same place we always get too; progress just isn’t happening fast enough, the results you want seem to far away to reach, old habits are slipping back in and you feel whatever you do, nothing seems to change. We’ve all be there right!?…
What to do? Give up and go back to how things were before? Or make it part of the process and learn how to take back control, get unstuck and move forward?
At this stage reverting back may actually feel like the best thing to do, I mean we’ve tried everything, right?
We all know change is uncomfortable and the best results are achieved from overcoming some tough situations and advertises. So, we’re not going to give up that easily!
One proven method for getting unstuck and to move forward with a goal is learning how we behave when we are resisting change. Resistance is shown in all different shapes and sizes and for the majority of us, we actually don’t know we are facing resistance – how unfair is that?! I mean it’s not our fault if we didn’t know, right? Well by even thinking this – we are dealing with resistance in action!
Reasons for not recognising resistance?
The first step to getting unstuck is to recognise (and own) how you behave when facing resistance. Listed below are 5 of the most common behaviours and actions for resistance in its full force:
When we play down the problem or lack of progress with statements like these;
“I’m not THAT overweight, I don’t REALLY need to stick to my diet plan 24/7, it’s not THAT bad if I eat the celebration cake in the staff room.”
“I’m not THAT slow, I don’t REALLY need to do my speed session this morning, I’ll be fine, it’s not THAT bad if I’m a couple minutes off my PB time.”
“I’m not THAT stressed, I don’t REALLY need to plan my week ahead, it’s not THAT bad if I skip a few lunch breaks.”
MINIMISING – GET UNSTUCK ACTION:
Take some time out to self-reflect:
Q. Is your goal still a priority?
If no, what has changed? If yes, take responsibility for the resistance talk going on. You have the ability to make the change needed to make the positive steps forward towards your goal.
When we blame a lack of progress on another person or an external factor.
Resistance talk can sound something like this;
“It’s not my fault. I had a healthy lunch planned, I even took it to work but I didn’t have time to take a break.”
“It’s not my fault! I had my workout kit on but the traffic was so bad I missed the class and couldn’t work out.”
“It’s not my fault! I had a healthy meal planned, but my husband ordered a take-out and he ordered me something without asking me.”
BLAMING – GET UNSTUCK ACTION:
In times like these it really is hard to resist. These are situations are out of our control, however taking responsibility to the fact that this is life and that challenges (out of our control) will inevitably come up time and time again.
Recognise blaming is a form of resistance and YOU have the ability (and choice) to stick with actions in line with your goals next time round.
Prepare for events that will likely happen, for example;
Missing your workout class because of traffic, try a new time slot or perhaps have a back plan such as a drive to the park for a run instead.
When our enthusiasm and confidence starts to fade it can sound something like this;
“What’s the point? I’ve tried to lose weight before, and nothing ever seems to work”
“What’s the point? I’ve tried to stick to an exercise plan before, and I always give up after a couple of months”
“What’s the point? I’ve tried to put my ideas forward at work before, and nothing ever changes”
PESSIMISM – GET UNSTUCK ACTION:
Feeling like we are destined to fail is a fear based belief (not fact), no matter how much we feel it to be true.
During the transformation process, especially when progress is slow, it’s difficult to get a clear perspective on what we believe to be true and what it factually true. The truth is that there is no certainty we will fail and that our goals are always attainable.
Imagine a good friend was feeling low and beginning to tell us how they were going to give up on their goal; how do you think YOU would react;
“Yes, you’re right, you’ll never be able to lose weight, I think you should give up.”
“You’ve worked so hard, I can see the progress you’ve made, don’t give up, I believe you can do it!”.
Speak to yourself as you would to a friend.
When we are not owning our actions it can sound something along the lines of this;
“I know I should make my lunch from my dinner’s left overs, but I just can’t resist seconds when I know it’s there.”
“I know I should prepare healthy snacks to take to work, but I can’t make a batch for the week as I end up eating them all in one go.”
“I know I should take a lunch break, but if I don’t check my emails I will have to stay later at the end of the day.”
EXCUSING – GET UNSTUCK ACTION:
Times get tough, it’s true, to get unstuck transform this type of resistance into a challenge to accomplish. Set higher standards and come up with solutions to get through this challenge.
A great way to do this is be accountable for our actions. Choose a friend or support network who has high expectations and believes in the goal set.
This is when we focus our attention away from our lack of progress by focusing on where we feel we have done well.
We’ve set a goal to cut sugar out of our diet for 2 weeks. During the 2 weeks we didn’t quite stick to the plan. The resistance talk isn’t so much the action as eating sugar, it’s about what we do next. Instead of taking full responsibility for that action, we focus on what we have done well within the 2 weeks, such as, sticking to a workout routine and forgetting about the failure of your sugar detox commitment.
SIDE-TRACKING – GET UNSTUCK ACTION:
Go back to WHY, why was the commitment made in the first place? Write out the reasons for failure, highlight what was difficult, confusing and frustrating. Create a plan of how to solve these problems. By taking responsibility for the failure it is then possible to restart the process again and fulfil the commitment made.
This is only 5 of the common behaviours of resistance, there are more! Being able to identify or have someone help us identify our resistance talk, such as a health coach or being part of a coaching group will help us to keep moving forward in a positive direction with our goals and lifestyle changes.
Let’s not be too hard on ourselves, this is part of the process and a big insight to making long-lasting change for more positive actions and healthier lifestyle choices to come.
Feeling like you need some support in identifying your resistance talk, come and join the conversation and join my Health Conscious Collective Facebook private group we support, inspire and motivate others to continue making healthy lifestyle choices.
A health coach supports you in identifying and overcoming the obstacles that are holding you back to living your healthiest and happiest lifestyle. If you would like to know more about the health coaching program or in need of an accountability partner, get in touch by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org
Grow Your Confidence Workshop, 6th November 2018
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